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There are three facets to people:
1) How we perceive ourselves
2) How others perceive us
3) How we really are
Sometimes 1 and 2 can be distorted in familial relationships, even to the point of being the complete opposite of reality.
Nature is survival of the fittest: bullies against weaklings.
As the song lines say, existence can be so cutthroat:
Rather be the hunter (bully) than the prey (weakling)
Yeah, you’re a natural
Living your life cutthroat
You gotta be so cold
Have you ever been to a Family Christmas gathering where instead of it being a positive gathering, it is a negative Family Roast of people present and not present at the party, as well as stereotyped slurs against one's own ethnic heritage? Because that is what the Christmas spirit is all about, isn't it: bad mouthing one's own relatives and one's own heritage.
It's eye opening when you realize that at three different points in time three different family members all did the same thing to you. And majority rules, right? If that many people all did the same thing to you, you must have deserved it and they must be right, and you must be wrong.
And then you don't need to know anything else. You finally know your place.
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